It's tough playing Cupid these days as qixi, traditional Chinese lovers' day, is coming up Sunday. But Cupid doesn't know where to aim his arrows because more and more young people are not doing what's expected, writes Yao Minji.

Love has always been around, of course, it makes the old world go round, but it used to be simpler. Not so much fretting about true love, Mr Right or Miss Right and soul mates. Much more about doing one's duty, especially to one's parents, settling down and having a family, especially in China.

Now, on the occasion of qixi, traditional Chinese lovers' day (sadly eclipsed by Valentine's Day) - dedicated to true love - we can reflect on the confused state of the heart. Qixi falls on the seventh day of the seventh month on the lunar calendar: it's a little-observed, blessedly noncommercial festival dedicated to lovers.

Shanghai Daily has been talking to people, mostly women, in love, out of love, reconsidering love, eager for love, content to be single, choosy about a future mate. Many are torn between traditional conservative values and what they grow up with and see around them - a more liberal, sexual and freewheeling style of relationships. Here are just a few voices in what we hope will be an ongoing love saga.

Sophia Chen, 24, has been divorced for a little over half year and she is considering a second marriage. Her fiance, who also belongs to the post-80s generation, knows nothing about her first marriage during which Chen never actually lived under the same roof with her husband. Each lived separately with their parents. They went on dates and fought furiously.

"It was such a failure." says Chen, who works in a logistics company. "We argued all the time. He never understood the pressures I was under and he was always asking me to make concessions to him."

Meanwhile, 33-year-old Lena Gu has never been married - and she's "old" for marriage in China. Despite worries and pressure from her family and friends, Gu just left a four-year relationship.

"They thought I should marry him even if he wasn't the right one because I'm so old now. They think I lost my last chance to get married." says Gu, a sales manager. "But I will not get married for the sake of marriage itself. I've already waited this long, so I'm waiting for Mr Right."

Gu is aware of how those who belong to the following generation are rushing to get married but she is still shocked at the case of Jimmy Yang, 16, who currently is juggling three girlfriends.

"I'm not cheating on any of them because they all know about the other two and they have other boyfriends as well," says Yang, who will enter 11th grade in September. "That's just normal. We are all so young and we don't really know who's best for us."

What has made the three generations take such different paths and adopt such different views about love and marriage?

Older people (though still quite young) tend to think that the younger ones are rather decadent and irresponsible about their own future, as well as the stability of society, while the young ones, consider their behaviors only natural.

It is easier to understand the generation born in the 1990s who grew up with Western influence and much more sexual content in all media, dramas featuring fairytale dreams come true, Japanese animation of unrealistic love stories and idols from reality shows.

For the kids born in the 1990s like Yang, love is still a rather idealized game and they follow the rules from serial dramas and animation.

And some still follow the rules.
"In ancient times, an 18-year-old girl was considered old if she wasn't married, so what's the big problem now?" asks 20-year-old Fanny Wang who has been working very hard with her boyfriend to save money for an apartment so that they can get married right after graduation.

They are two among many young adults born in the 1980s who plan an early marriage.

On one hand, the post-80s generation, aged from 18 to 27, is afraid of becoming "leftovers" like those 10 years older than they.

"An old Chinese saying tells us the most important thing is to 'form a family and establish a career'," says Wang's 21-year-old boyfriend Will Lu. "Family comes before the career. If we get married early, we won't worry about this anymore and can deal with stress from work and society with more energy and focus."

On the other hand, China's family planning policy that emphasized one child was officially launched in 1979. That meant most youths born in the 1980s were single children smothered by care from their parents and grandparents.

For these young people, marriage symbolizes independence: it justifies their leaving home. In other words, many got married for the sake of marriage itself - to escape. Mr or Ms Right wasn't an issue.

"My parents were against my decision to get married at such an early age, especially since m

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