In "Queen Bees and Wannabes," author Rosalind Wiseman explored a well-known but ¡ª at the time ¡ª little-talked about phenomena of teen girl cliques and aggressive female behavior.

The 2002 book was the basis for the popular Hollywood film, "Mean Girls," and inspired a slew of follow-up books, including "Girl Wars," "Odd Girl Out," and "Tripping the Prom Queen: The Truth about Women and Rivalry." Then there's "Mean Girls All Grown Up," Wiseman's own "Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads" and this month's release "Girl Politics: Friends, Cliques and Really Mean Chicks" by Nancy Rue.

I suppose when the 2000s started (what the heck are we calling this century, again?) it was interesting to explore what seemed to be the shattering stereotypes of the tough, alpha male. It turned out, to some people's surprise, that girls were aggressive too. And tough, but not in a good way.

But by now, the girl cliques and mean women have their own section of the library, so maybe it's time to step back and take a breather.

Are we chicks really that bad? It seems to me that most boys and most girls, as well as the majority of both men and women, are usually trying to be good and do right. It seems to me that neither gender has a lock upstanding moral behavior.

It reminds me of a male-only chat I saw online recently.

In a conversation on MSNBC about the Sen. Larry Craig scandal, television personality Tucker Carlson tells colleagues Dan Abrams and Joe Scarborough that he was once "bothered" by a gay man in a public bathroom. Carlson claims he left the loo, returned with a friend, and slammed the man's head into a stall wall.

See the clip yourself at www.youtube.com/watch?v=B996XPC2eD8. Or type "Tucker Carlson and bathroom" into a search engine. The thing that interested me about the clip was how giggly and jocular the whole conversation about the violence is. Ultra-modern Carlson ("I'm not anti-gay in the slightest") grins like a politician, explains how he went back to the bathroom with a friend, grabbed the man and bashed his head. Abrams and Scarborough carry on like snickering schoolchildren.

In my head, the three alpha males then went to smoky bar, knocked down a couple of Scotches, neat, and ogled women. Then they wondered aloud why some gay men would choose such a clandestine spot to hit on other men, because assuredly it's not because in public, they face the threat of getting their butts kicked by over-manicured alpha males at any moment.

The exchange desperately needed a female presence. In my head, she would have responded in one of three ways.

Legal: "Wait, did you just admit on national television that you assaulted someone? After the break, we'll call in some talking heads to see if this constitutes a hate crime."

Inquisitive: "So are you saying that you were so terrified by the experience ¡ª even though you had left the bathroom ¡ª that you had to recruit a strapping friend to valiantly come and stand by your side?"

Authoritative: "I can tell you from experience that you wouldn't survive one night in public as a woman. I, too, find overt come-ons to be anything from irritating to screamingly inappropriate, but my fellow females and I can handle the overtures a lot better than you, you pantywaist."

Or something like that.

I think we can appreciate the differences in both genders without slapping brand-new stereotypes on them. I think we need to raise our boys to know that it's OK to stand up for what's right, and that they don't have to be tough and testosteroney all the time.

And I think, right now, we need to stop telling our daughters how mean they are.